


Cumbersome and Heavy

by Orange (blake_gunnels)



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, DNF, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, NO SHIPPING MINORS, No Smut, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary!Tubbo, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Trans GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Trans Male Character, Trans Toby Smith | Tubbo, dreamnotfound, enby!tubbo, karlnap, trans!george
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28213407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blake_gunnels/pseuds/Orange
Summary: George doesn't want anyone to know his secret, while Dream and George both don't know how to convey their feelings.Karl wants to be affectionate with his boyfriend, while Sapnap is still wary about the word "boyfriend".Tommy and Tubbo are platonic soulmates, and Tommy feels cheated out of his one true romance.Wilbur wants to help his closest friends, but isn't prepared for all this.(writing this on a friends account because i'm too much of a coward to post it on my own)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 10
Kudos: 225





	1. I've grown tired of this body

George sits at his desk, staring at the discord conversation he had had with Wilbur earlier. his knees are pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them as support. The messages between him and his friend stared back at him, tauntingly. George knew he would have to tell Wil eventually, but he wished he could wait a little longer, at least until he was more confident in himself.

  
Thoughts ran across his mind, crossing paths and intertwining with one another until it all sounded like static. A moment later, George realized his eyes were beginning to water, and his computer screen blurred behind tears. He stood up quickly, balance wavering, and removed his headphones before walking into his bathroom. He sat on the floor for a moment, the cool tile beneath him a stark contrast to the growing warmth in his chest. After a few minutes, his breathing slowed and he stood again to wash his face clear of the tears. Pulling the towel from his face, he caught a glimpse in the mirror. For all intents and purposes, George was fairly average. Short brown hair and plain brown eyes, a sparse sprinkling of freckles around his face, nothing much stood out, and George was grateful for this fact. He always felt so different from "normal" people, he was glad he could at least appear typical. His large gray hoodie hung loosely on his lanky build, hiding most of what was underneath from the world.

He raised a hand to his chest, right beside his heart. His chest was still pounding from the scene moments ago, and his tight binder wasn't helping much to calm his breathing. Taking a deep breath, George set the towel down and walked back to his desk. He had a plan and had to carry it out before he lost the momentum to. He closed his conversation with Wilbur and hovered his mouse over Eret's name. Before he could take a second to think, he clicked, and the call rang through his ears. George hadn't quite registered what had happened until he heard Eret's deep voice fill his attention.

  
"Hello? George?"

  
"Oh, hey Eret, how's it going?" George's voice wavered slightly, and he coughed into his hand to clear it.

  
"I'm doing alright, are you okay, George?" Eret could hear the uncertainty in his friend's voice and mimicked it in their own worried tone.

  
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine, I just... I need help with something." He paused, not sure exactly how to continue, hoping that Eret would fill the silence so he wouldn't have to.

  
After a moment, Eret's voice cut through the call and brought George back to the present.

  
"George, you still there?"

  
"Oh sorry yeah, I'm here. sorry." George took another deep breath and decided to get to the point. "So you know how I'm supposed to be meeting Wilbur tomorrow?" Eret hummed in agreement, not wanting to interrupt.

  
"Well I'm going to be staying with him and I... figured I should tell him before we meet." George brings his legs back up into his chair, holding them tightly out of anxiety.

  
"Tell him? About what." Eret's reply sounded unsure and was still laced with worry for her friend.

  
"About me, and.... y'know," After a moment it clicked in Eret's mind of what George was referring to.

  
"Oh, well just try the same things you said when you came out to me. I know Wilbur will be understanding, so you don't have to worry about it." Eret smiled as he spoke, glad that George could trust Eret with this.

  
"I- I know he'll understand, I'm not worried about that. I'm just scared that something will change, y'know? like he'll see me differently." George began to stutter over his words, not wanting to explain his thoughts to Eret.

  
"George, listen to me. You know Wilbur, and you know that there is almost nothing you could tell him that would make him change how he thinks about you, okay? Trust me on this one, everything will be fine." George smiled as he rested his head on his knees. He pulled his mic closer to be sure that Eret could hear him.

  
"Thank you, Eret, for everything." He says, voice lowered slightly.

  
"Of course, George, anytime. And don't hesitate to ask if you need anything while talking to Wil."

  
"I will. Wish me luck?" George can feel his mind slowing, thoughts filled with Eret's encouraging words.

  
"You got this, George, and good luck!" Eret says happily before George ends the call, breathing a sigh of relief as he sat up in his chair. Before he has time to overthink it again, he clicks on Wilbur's name and begins typing.

  
_GeorgeNotFound: hey wil, you busy now? i got something i wanna talk to you about_

  
Soon after the message was sent, the small message with the words "WilburSoot is typing..." appeared below George's message. George watched the little circles beside Wil's name do their dance before they were replaced with Wilbur's message

  
_WilburSoot: no im free, what's up?_

  
_GeorgeNotFound: can i call you? that would be easier_

  
_WilburSoot: sure that works for me_

  
George clicks the call button quickly after reading the message, urgent to get this over with.

  
"Hello, gogy! How are you today?" Wilbur speaks in a fairly upbeat tone, one that brought a smile back to George's face.

  
"I'm doing great Wil, excited to meet up tomorrow!" George spoke with slightly more enthusiasm than he actually had, but not by much.

  
"Yeah, definitely exciting! so what did you want to talk about?"

  
George laughed a little under his breath, finding it a little funny that he was actually doing this

  
"Uh yeah, it's actually about us meeting up. I- uh- wanted to let you know something about me before we met in person." George paused for a moment, considering his options in how to explain this to Wilbur. He spoke quickly, deciding that just saying it outright would be best.

  
"I'm trans. I wasn't born male. And I figured you should know that before I stay at your place." George lightly laughed again, considering the odd circumstance he was in.

  
After a beat of silence, Wilbur responded

  
"That's cool! I mean, I- fuck- I'm glad you could tell me that." Both boys laughed at this, understanding the slight awkwardness George's statement had caused.

  
"So, it's good?" George asked a minute later, not sure how to continue the conversation.

  
"Yeah, of course!" George finally breathed out the sigh he didn't know he was holding in.

  
"Good, I was worried for some reason." He laughed again, hoping Wil wouldn't ask any more questions.

  
"Well, why wouldn't it be okay?" Wilbur asked, and George stopped. This was definitely one question he did not want to answer. George had no reason to believe that Wil wouldn't support him, and therefore no good answer to the question, but also he of course had to assume the worst.

  
Without a pre-thought out answer, George began to just dump all his thoughts out in a confusing, jumbled, stuttering mess

  
"Well, you know, we've, uh, never talked about anything like this and I- I didn't know how you'd take it and, uh, even though I had no reason to I thought that-" Wilbur stopped George mid-ramble, and only then did George realized that the tears from earlier had started again.

  
"George! Hey, it's ok, alright? Just breathe." George wiped his face with the sleeve of his hoodie and whispered to Wilbur that he was ok.

  
"I was actually going to tell you tomorrow, but now seems appropriate." Wil laughed again, "Um, I realized recently that I'm bi, so I've been doing research about all of this. So, uh, don't worry about it. I get it."

  
"Oh. That-" George was genuinely speechless. Of course Wil would be understanding. He'd always been cool when some of their other friends had come out.

  
"Thank you, Wil. Seriously." George said, resting his head on his knees once again.

  
"Thanks to you too, George. You coming out made mine so much easier." They both laughed again at this, but not the same soft, awkward chuckle from before. This was a wholehearted laugh, full of joy and understanding.

  
The two talked for a while longer, about everything. George answered all the slightly uncomfortable questions about binders, hormones, and his identity, while the two shared stories from their own journeys of self-discovery. George had messaged Eret while him and Wil were still talking, telling them that it had gone well and again thanking her for the help. Eret had responded with a simple "<3", which meant more to George than it should. He knew now that it would be okay. Over time, he would hopefully come out to the rest of his friends, certain that they would react similarly to both Eret and Wilbur. Eret's words rang through his head again, reminding him that everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading this! it will be updated whenever I get motivated to write, but hopefully not too rarely. Comments, suggestions, and kudos are always appreciated!


	2. If I catch fire then I change my aim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who left kudos and comments on the first chapter! I thought this fic would only get like 10 hits so all the love is greatly appreciated!!!

Summers in Texas were never too pleasant, and Sapnap knew this all too well. Having lived there all his life, he was well acquainted with the warm, humid feeling associated with waking up in the summer months. The feeling of not being able to use even a bed sheet because of the extra layer it gave, and always feeling the need for a shower. So, when Sapnap woke up to find the warm July sun pouring in through his windows, he wasn't all too pleased. Groaning, he pushed up from his mattress, closed his blinds, and wandered into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Sap, along with many of his friends, had made the poor habit of staying up way too late playing Jackbox the previous night, and many nights before that. Because of this, coffee was a must if he wanted to function today.

Sitting on his counter, Sapnap opened twitter as something to do while he waited for the coffee to brew. As usual, his timeline was filled with references to last night's Jackbox stream, as the roster of Sap's close friends attracted many fans. He smiled slightly upon seeing screenshots from Karl's stream, specifically ones of Karl laughing so hard he fell out of his chair. Sapnap had always enjoyed spending time like that with Karl, and ever since they started dating, it had felt even more special.

About a month ago, both Karl and Sapnap admitted to the other that they had feelings for them, and soon after agreed to give it a try. While Sapnap was still hesitant about the whole "dating men" thing, Karl was quick to reassure him with late-night phone calls, reminders of his affection for the man, and good morning texts each day. It was nice, to have someone to help him through this, although he wished it could be someone other than the person he was actually dating. Someone he could ask questions and rant to, without talking to the person the questions are about.

Sapnap was pulled from his thoughts as the room around him became silent, the coffee finished brewing.

He jumped off the counter, feet landing on the tile with a thud. He filled his coffee mug with the warm liquid, before ambling back into his room and sitting at his desk. Without a second thought, he opened Twitch and saw that Karl was streaming. Confused as to why he was live so early, Sapnap glanced over to his phone to check the time.

_16:20_

Oh, Sapnap had thought it was much earlier in the day, yet somehow he had woken up at 4 pm. He shrugged, ignoring the odd feeling that came with time blindness. He opened the stream, sitting back in his chair, and sipping on his coffee. Karl was on the Dream SMP, running around with Quackity and Tubbo, giggling so hard that his face turned red. Sap smiled again, the sight of his partner making his own face turn a brighter color. Despite his hesitations in their relationship, he knew that he did truly love Karl, and they were meant to be together.

Looking back at Karl, his eyes caught on the boy's soulmate marks. Everyone in the world was born with a soulmate mark, which is the place your soulmate first touches you, skin-to-skin. Karl's were 2 dark smudges on his face, covering his jawline and most of his cheeks. The red color on the brunette's face seemed to seep out of the marks, making them almost blend into the rest of his skin. Sapnap was occasionally jealous of Karl's marks, as there was something so intimate and loving about first touching your soulmate on their face, rather than like Sapnap's own marks, which were on his hands. It was extremely common to have your marks on your hands, which meant your first touches could be shaking hands, or a high five, or any number of things people do every day. Marks such as Karl's, however, had to be deliberate. Someone must have to want to touch him like that, to be close enough to touch his face. It felt more personal, and there was less a chance of your soulmate being an absolute stranger because of that.

Deciding to make his presence on the stream known, he opened the chat and pulled up his channel points. Similar to a thing Philza does, Karl had given many of his friends almost unlimited channel points, which meant unlimited opportunity to use text-to-speech on stream. Sapnap redeemed the correct amount of points and typed out a short message to his boyfriend. Obviously, because this was going to be read on stream, Sap couldn't put anything revealing that the two boys are actually in a relationship, as they hadn't revealed it to the fans yet. A moment later, the tts bot read out Sapnap's message and Karl paused what he was doing to read it.

"This dumbass really out here looking like a tomato. Didn't know a white boy could get this red" tts Brian readout in the iconic synthesized voice.

Karl giggles again, the high-pitched noise somehow making his face even redder than before. "Thank you for the dono!" He says out of habit, before looking to his second monitor and seeing Sapnap's name.

"Oh, it was Sapnap!" unmuting his mic in the discord call, Karl puts on a fake whiney voice and walks up to Quackity's in-game character, crouching.

"Quackity, Sapnap's making fun of me." Sapnap laughs a little at his partner's mannerisms.

This time, Quackity's loud, choppy laugh cut through the call.

"Karl, are you just going to let your boyfriend talk to you like that?" He laughed again, indicating that it was a joke, but the pang of awkwardness hit Sapnap in the chest. Quackity is one of the few people who knows about Karl and Sapnap's relationship, so hearing him joke about it made it feel more real. Sapnap was still getting used to the word "boyfriend". It felt odd and out of place. He understood that, because he and Karl were dating, that is the correct word to use, but it still felt off. Karl had a great affinity for the word, using it often to refer to the younger boy, and deep down Sapnap appreciated his insistence on using the word.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he realized he missed Karl's response to Quackity. Sapnap could hear Tubbo begin to speak, but they were cut off by the two boys in the call and their intense laughter at what Quackity had said. Sapnap chuckled along lightly, hoping that the audience took this as a joke and not a hint toward their relationship.

Sapnap spent the next hour talking in tts and eventually joined their call, as he joked along with them. He always enjoyed spending time with his friends and his partner, and he wished he could just meet them in person. Maybe one day.

About an hour later, Karl had ended stream and the three friends had said their goodbyes to Tubbo. Sapnap had joined Karl on the SMP, and they were running around stealing supplies from people as they were the only ones online. Quackity had left the game and was scrolling through Twitter while talking to the other two. Their conversation had shifted between a lot of topics in their call, and eventually they had settled on talking about meet-ups.

"Did you see that George and Wilbur met up today? Wil posted some pictures on his Twitter." Quackity said, seeing the pictures of the two boys filling his timeline.

"Oh yeah, aren't they pretending to do a vlog with Dream?" Karl asked, and Quackity laughed, having forgotten about that detail.

"People are gonna be so mad when they find out it's fake." he laughed again, imagining the fans' responses on Twitter.

"If we ever meet up, we need to do an actual vlog. To prove I'm better than Dream." Sapnap smiled at the thought of one-upping his best friend.

"Wait, but actually, what if we did?" Karl replied

"What, meetup?"

“Yeah meetup! I could have you two fly out to North Carolina for like a week. We could stream, film an actual vlog,” he emphasized the words ‘actual vlog’, "and I bet Jimmy would want to film a MrBeast video with you guys, which would be so much clout." It seemed like Karl said this all in one breath as he rushed to get his idea to his friends.

Quackity paused for a moment before he responded, " I do like clout, plus then you two could finally meet in person and be all cutesy and shit." The three boys laughed. Sapnap had thought about this a lot recently. Of course he'd want to meet Quackity and Karl in person, he just wasn't so sure about it being so soon. In his opinion, having a relationship was much easier when you live 1200 miles away from each other. He didn't have to worry about being physically affectionate, especially in public. It's not that he didn't want to meet up with his partner, maybe he just wasn't ready yet.

"Sap? thoughts?" Sapnap realized that he hadn't responded to the conversation yet, and cleared his head of the worrying thoughts from before, making a split-second decision.

"Yeah of course! Sounds great." He could hear Karl excitedly clapping through his headset, and smiled at the thought.

"We should get married while we're there! Make it official in real life, not just on the SMP." Quackity gasped, then laughed at his idea. Sap shook his head. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading this! it will be updated whenever I get motivated to write, but hopefully not too rarely. Comments, suggestions, and kudos are always appreciated!


	3. update (sorry)

Hello everyone, so it has been basically a month since I last updated this fic. I got caught up with college stuff and honestly didn't have a ton of motivation to write the next chapter. I do still really care about this story and intend to finish it, it just might take a bit longer than I originally planned. These first two chapters were written with bursts of energy at 4 am and thats why they actually exist.   
Hopefully new chapter soon? I'm hoping to write a lot this weekend and maybe get a chapter out next week. No promises, but maybe.   
Anyways, sorry about the delay and please be patient with me. <3


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